Uncategorized

feeling flat.


so my only living parent is lying in a hospital bed in George after some blood loss induced by a “procedure”. I am 33 and in Johannesburg and I don’t know what to do. I have fear. But I also have recognition that this is out of my hands. Its weird. I feel almost catatonic in my actions. I sit. I smoke (recent). I have been through this fear before and I know my fear will not be able to do or not do the outcome. And then I think I feel fat and feel so kak about how fickle I am. All in nothingness and nothing I can do. I wish for comfort but I can not think of one thing that will make this better… Nothing but worry and nothing I can do. shitfuck.

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