When I started my sabbatical, I thought by this time I would be poor, but well travelled and clear-headed about my future and what I want from life. But in real life my sabbatical was all of 3 months and then I started moonlighting at a bank, which was supposed to be only for a month. I was dreading it, but it would be a freelance client… So all good. That was June. Now I am in a different department doing stuff I have never thought I would find even mildly interesting, and loving it! First I hated it. I clung so tightly to my “career” in advertising. And then I realised the lovelyness of working for place that treats you kindly and pays you what you are worth. So I guess what I have learned is the value to just go with it, especially if you aren’t sure what you are supposed to be doing. Magic!
Ok so far I have sucked at being on sabbatical, mostly because I have done so much freaking freelance work that I am basically not even on sabbatical anymore, and I have only done a teeny tiny trip abroad with ma faja, and a two week fun-times in Cape town with my boyfriend. But its been good. Its a real mind shift to take every day as it comes and not be totally obsessed about “my-so-called-career”. I even did some bits working for a bank which actually was so much nicer than I ever imagined.
But back to my point, last year when the idea of quitting started developing in my brain, I stumbled across the hashtag #designervaca on instagram, it had happened a week or so before I found it, and looked amazing. A bunch of lady-female designers who meet up in Palm Springs to rock it up for a couple of days. In my (then) sad state of mind I made myself a promise that if I ever got the opportunity, I would effing take it and fly to the US and go. When I remembered about and looked at the website again the 2015 one was already fully booked. I wrote them a note and said they must please keep me on the waiting list as I am super keen. And low and behold an effing spot opened up and I am flipping going. I have paid my accommodation and registration… no flights yet, but I am flipping going. My first solo trip in my sabbatical.
I am excite :)
Life is short and we must grab the bull by the balsak :) ALSO this woman whose work I have admired since before time began, is also going!
Check out their website here and make sure to watch the video :) and see my name on “who is attending”.
So the funny thing with timehop is that sometimes it rips open your heart by showing you a picture of your dead brother. Cruel the way grief works. Almost like it happened yesterday, but its been more than five years. Lighting a candle for you, I hope so that you are happy and without pain xxx
I am watching “The Big Chill” on recommendation from a friend. Made in 1983. Most amazing soundtrack, will buy that soon! Its early on a Sunday morning, and I feel fine!
At least I did two weeks ago. I wanted to write about it immediately. Bassooon it to the world. I wrote about it incessantly leading up to the big day.. But when it arrived I felt vulnerable and tender and very very tired… so thats why I am only doing this now.
I am not just quitting. I am taking a sabbatical. A creative sabbatical. I plan to travel… some. But mostly I plan to make cool shit. All the shit that I never got time for while I have been working full-time for the past ten years. I feel that this will be (hopefully) be a creative re-boot for me and make me less “Meh” about everything.
I decided on this sabbatical idea when I kept on getting sick and sicker. I was on four courses of antibiotics last year alone. I mean.. seriously.. what the fuck? And I checked at my finances and thought if I make some changes I could probably survive for a couple of months with not working (bye bye retirement fund, fuck you retirement fund) with my savings. Then I thought about it a lot for a couple of months weighing the pros and cons until I finally took the plunge on the 30th of January and resigned. The weird thing about this move is, how much shit I give myself about it. It is completely counter-intuitive for me, and I guess most people not to work. Guilt all day, everyday. Even though I know this is right for me I feel I have to defend this choice way more than is necessary. Bizarre… I am an asshole.
My problem is that I have been pooop with taking breaks during my work career. And now I am physically suffering for it. FYI change is not as good as a holiday. (This will either be the title of my memoir or the name my latest indie band – copyrighted bitch*)
So now I am burned-out, I am flat and I am taking a break.
But I am not dead.
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” – José Micard Teixeira
Find what you love and let it kill you.